Sunday, February 28, 2010


Last summer I planted fingerling potatoes. They were great they grew fast and I ever replanted some and got a second round. After the first round my sweet potato tubers were ready for planting so I planted them. Vines and vines and vines grew. I even dug them up at some point to find mini taters. Not enough for my promise of taters for kara who grew my tubers. Well apparently i didn't wait long enough. Today I picked up a pot of them and went through it. Hey apparently it was a success but of course they weren't ready til i was not thinking garden any more. I planted these tubers all over the damn place so I'm sure we'll be finding rotten crop for a while.
Here is the one pot i found. They are all rotten but not a bad crop. I love my fabric pots. I plan to use lots of these next year. Especially for my tomatoes, peppers and taters. I do need to learn how to store them because i recall us on a rush to eat them before they went bad last year.

Friday, February 26, 2010

I've been missing

Busy with home stuff, work etc. Also dealing with family matters. At this moment I'm so angry I know i shouldn't blog but I am. Buby is not going to be with us long. When my parents visited recently i talked to my dad about shiva and how I thought it was unhealthy for mom and us for it to be at buby's house. Now he's gone back and said it should be done there cause it would make him uncomfortable at his house. Well fuck me and call me sally. Wouldn't want that. What about my mother, what about me? Guess I am also being selfish because I do not want to stay at Buby's house when we do shiva. I think it will make it so much harder and put a ton of pressure on mom to clear it out in 24 hours of medical stuff that is in the dining room currently. Talking to mom she says it won't be there anyway cause insurance gets it returned immediately or it cost an assload more. I've recently learned that her hospital bed is being exchanged for a hospice bed which I did not know was different.
My dad and I have had a strained relationship in life. I've gotten over lots of stuff and moved on but I'm feeling a big ole wall creeping up at alarming rates. I want to hit things, throw things, punch things. Maybe after buby passes and we go through all of this I'll heal and forgive again. I worry about becoming my mom, i never worry about becoming my dad because i find him to be unobtainable. I never feel like he has a conscious. I'm dead to him unless I'm in front of him and its the way its always been. Seeking out his attention, his love etc but getting nothing in response. When i dropped them off at the airport i told him I loved him and he said it back. That makes time 3 in my life and always i must be the first. The first was when I wanted to take my own life years ago. Ridiculousness. I'm so torn also because around me so many lose their family members and I can't be happy with my robot. I look at both side of this situation and my feelings but i can't help it. I'm still angry. Issues, i guess we all have them.