Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Its doodoo baby...

Last night was a night of romance, me and the hubby ankle deep in dirty water. A pipe cover broke Monday night when Boo and I were investigating a leak with the washer... we took it off with the plans to replace it Tuesday after work... We thought it was just washer related. After work and a visit to get my lunesta represcribed (yay!) I went to Target to drop of my prescription and pick up some food. I handed Boo the frozen potato delights and asked him to take them to the basement freezer and bring up some soy meat of choice. He went downstairs and said, “oh crap” We then discovered that the pipe also was the main sewer pipe... so, we had a basement of shower water, toilet water and all that goes with it.
Lucky for us we have two levels in the basement. Oh and our floor drain was not flowing either... I was ready to run off to homedepot to get a new pipe plug cover. Boo, who has a case of hunger-anger problems wanted to eat first.. dude, we have poop in our basement. While he heated up his food I went to home depot cause dude, no. When I returned he had cleaned up all solids. I changed into clothes that were originally going to goodwill, white terrycloth shorts, two sizes too small that also showed through that I was wearing blue undies, tank top, pink wellies, yellow rubber gloves. If I wasn’t hot, I just don’t know what is.
We went to replace the cover and discovered the pipe was rusty and the seal was not great so we took a silicone mat from the “to trash” pile and wrapped it around the pipe plug. Luckily this did the job and we started our water scooping adventures. Which including waiting for water to run through our sump pump. We moved washers, driers, threw out tons of stuff all while cursing the dang drain that needed a router rooter visit. Once we got up all the water we scrubbed and threw bleach around like it was going out of business.
At one point I had brilliant idea. I looked over to Boo and said, “Wanna break something?” His response was, “Hell yeah!”… who’s response wouldn’t have been that…. I was pissed at the drain and its rustiness so I told him to go get the pick ax. We’ll break the drain and I’ll shove my hand in there and remove the clog. He got very very excited and broke a few holes… then as luck would have it the whole drain popped off. I knew then that I was up…. I had shoved a metal stick down there and pulled up some black gunk that swirled in the dirty water like the black ooze of X-files. Luckily it didn’t crawl in my skin and into my eyeballs. I shoved my hand 2.5 feet down and removing about 5 lbs of silt from who knows how many years. Unfortunately nothing was removing the clog enough for water to run clear. I was on my hands and knees and in good humor about it all… I know Boo wanted to kill me for saying things like “I’ll take this opportunity to move my tooks or clean this or that” I kept making it a positive…anyway back to the story, I’m on my hands and knees, hands in sludge and I look up to my dear, pissy husband and said, “wanna do me?” At that exact second the clog freed and the water drained..and we laughed.. oh and he said no, as if I was serious. Once the clog was free we brought in our hose from outside and hosed down the basement, this was after we cleaned it and bleached it, all for good measure. So yeah, not my plans for the evening. We had visits from cat and dog wanting to know whats up… Personally I blame the cat, she could have told us way earlier that her litterbox now had a moat complete with its own swamp monsters.


Anonymous Brown said...

That story is a classic. Sometimes I think your life would be perfect for a sitcom.

1:17 PM  
Blogger Shannon said...

Wow. That is an insane night. You are way more handy than I am to figure out all this stuff. And congrats on the level head!

2:16 PM  
Blogger KymberlieBlu said...

girl, you crack me up! kudos for the good humor.. ;-)

3:32 PM  
Blogger wheelinsticks said...

Too funny! Although not funny in the real world, but at least it unclogged and you were able to keep the humor up!

6:53 AM  
Anonymous Big J said...

Eric mentioned I had to ask you about what happened the other night. Consider yourself asked ;)

9:59 PM  
Blogger Jeannette E. Spaghetti said...

Holy crap, that's one shitty story. Hilarious, too.

I'm glad you didn't flip out about it. These things are totally out of one's control, so I'm glad it didn't ruin your day.

Fun times. And stories to tell.

6:31 PM  
Blogger Shanon said...

Can I borrow that outfit?

1:08 PM  

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