I forsee a future of cats...

uc Okay no, not really. I love the dogs. Way too much in fact. But sometimes, oh sometimes I really question my devotion to rescue and such.... Riley, dear riley, you have to be let out every hour or two, you eat poop if I don't get there first, you have to be in the room I'm in at all times. Otherwise out of my sight, you deficate. Tonight, you sunk to a low.. you peed in Kara's room. Granted you didn't pee after work but I had let you out at 2:30 and you had not drink since then. I took you out, you pooped, i waited, no pee... How am I ever to get my suburbian home and SUV if I have to have you in my sight at all times? There are things like dining rooms which cannot be baby gated and its not fair to the others to be locked away. I'm a smart girl, I think, so why can't you be 100% potty trained. We've tried so many routes with you, we've even had your pee tested. And the barking, oh the barking.. I have the silent bark control, didn't work, the zapper, just scabbed you and these days the citronella doesn't cut it. You have too many issues. What therapy must I give you? I do have dog whisperer on my dvd list but frankly I still think I've tried so many routes, I feel hopeless. Dear doggy g-d. Please guide my dog. I have worked so hard with him for these 2 years he's been in my life. Isn't it time he gets his ahem...shit together? I never, ever catch him outside of my sight going. I have left him locked up in cages, in living rooms etc. Trying the most basic routes and it lacks fruition. I can deal with the barking. I hate it but I can deal, the having to be confined to rooms and it still being questionable is so hard. The eatting poop, also... I think I pick it all up but he still finds microcasms of turd. I've used meat tenderizor on their food as my vet friend recommended... not working. I think perhaps a purchase of the puppy poop stuff is in order. Unfortunately the Fortunate Son will have to have it too.
I'm frustgrated doggy g-d... guide my pup and save my sanity....