Sunday, December 07, 2008

They say what happens at a holiday party stays at a holiday party.

But I didn't drink enough so I remember it all and it was crappy. Coworkers I like at work were catty and annoying. All discussions seemed to go to, what do you want to do now (i guess cause we are now married), where do you want to live, etc. were met with responses of "oh you don't want to do that" Yes, yes I do. What i should have said is, I'm happy where I am right now, and when I am ready for the next step I need to research my ideas, not just jump in and in this research I will decide what I want to do and the basic ideas I'm am throwing around are just ideas and I may discover are not what I want but I need to come to that discovery myself.
I'd like to go to the moon, just an idea but it might not work out once I look at the schooling and such. :P
The dad like figure in my life covered religion, kids, moving etc and more than once I was told, "thats stupid" Like wanting to have a Jewish community in my life. Wanting to raise my kids jewish and not blending it with a nice christmas mixer in my home. And do i think my kids will remain jewish, no and that thought isn't stupid, its realistic. Most folks I know have assimilated in the pop culture which is a christmas rearing culture. My kids who will not be the same race as most jews may follow when I do stuff but asian or not, there is a damn good chance they will give most of it up when they grow up and when they meet others to share their life with that probably are also not jewish. We aren't exactly the majority ya know.
And when coworkers want to know why i feel certain things can I use the fact that out of the 8 of my cousins who all obviously have some jewish in them, I am the only one who soley does jewish stuff. There is one other who does a mixer and the rest are straight up bunnies and fat men. And when my coworkers frowns on me caring about if there are other jewish my children's schools I at least had the balls to turn to them and say, "well, Mr X, once you are the only jew growing up in a school then you can talk to me about what I want for my kids" Until high school there wasn't another jew is sight and i don't think I ended up friends with any in high school either now that i had another like 5 to choose from out of 450 kids.
I said one mean thing and that sticks with me. I hate when that shit happens and I thought I was saying what the person had just said and I was agreeing.. apparently not. I'm sure it will fly from his head by Monday but i feel like crap and knowing me I will until i see everyone on monday and we are back to office folks. I always think i'm the same person, they aren't for sure, I guess then I probably am not either. If anything I'm quieter letting them share their opinions. Next year I'll just memorize some Cosby stand up and perform that all night so I don't put my foot in my mouth and don't let anyone else do the same. In the mean time, I just will do my regular thing, let it roll around in my head and not sleep cause thats what I do....


Anonymous Kara said...

Ugh. Sounds like quite the party (and not in a good way). It sucks that you have to try to defend your choices to these people. :(
Tell your boy to give you a hug on my behalf.

10:53 AM  
Blogger maitai said...

i agree with kara. you are free to make your own decisions and shouldn't have to defend them to anybody. i think it's great that you have religion in your life and that it is important to you. just because i don't practice the same things as you doesn't mean i judge you or think you are wrong. your coworkers are asshats.

7:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree--who are THEY to plan your life and judge your choices? And it's insult to injury that you'd lose even a single minute's sleep over this. Hope you can derail that somehow. L

4:59 PM  
Anonymous KBO said...

I hate assholes. Do whatever the hell you want. That is all.

9:43 AM  

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