Sunday, December 30, 2007

Too Honest

So I'm blunt and forward and don't like to lie. I do lie, we all do it but sometimes we just can't do it. Thus I made my mom feel like shit this weekend being honest about stuff. I have been sucking it up the last few years and keeping it to myself, doing my duty of the supportive daughter, but lately it has driven me nuts. So I told her about my "aftercare" experience and the stereotyping that embarrassed the hell out of me. I had kept lots from my parents because I had been burned before, I tried again with my surgery and IMO, it kind of blew. I honestly am frightened trying to figure out how they function each day and interact with the world. Am i too attentive for the world. Are most people a little spaced out and not focused on the task at hand and the next one coming. Or were they once like me and 2 kids and 30 years of marriage has changed them.
I don't know the right route with parents. I've always wanted to improve myself ever since I was a teen. Reflection, implementation, improvement...we are always a work of progress and can always improve, but in my family they seem to be content. Their own perfection. They say when I get old I will be the same and won't be able to control the things that embarrass me now. Like mom and gas problems.. she says it cause she is a mouth breather.. yeah..... well... I didn't grow up with the incredible bleching machine so I'm sorry but I think she's lost her sense of shame. So yes, I guess I'm shaming my mom and its a bit evil but fuck, get a grip lady. We seem to live in a world where we don't want to shame anyone for any problem, your problem is now a disease, shaky legs, gassy ass, attention...defi...oohh shiny things.... but sometimes we just need to have a little embarrassment and keep ourselves in check... otherwise we become the scary people that we can find in aisle 6 of wally world, picking their nose and talking about poop with a complete stranger.


Blogger Ink Stained Roni said...


8:36 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home