Monday, June 11, 2007

not sleeping

So i haven't researched it but it seems lunesta has about a 30 day shelf life. After a month I can notice its strength lessening and with a new prescription its stronger again.
I'm also having mental issues.. not mental, i'm angry. Have we heard about my lesbian aunt who's a bitch who wants to pretend she's young meanwhile steals money from her parents and is just obnoxious. Who stayed out of our lives until her parents were diminishing and well get in on the will while you can. She tells my mom over a very not good family meeting that its their turn for me to spend thankgiving with. Eric's family has had me for a while. Say what.. I'm 28... most 28 year olds spend their time how they want it. I go home for passover, that is when I am greatful. I think about when my mom was 28. There were no ties with aunts at that point. she had her own family. In fact I'm the only cousin of the who has another family to be with it. And why doesn't the aunt ever spend thanksgiving with her girlfriends family... probably she can't get anything out of it where she can get drunk with my cousins and steal from her parents. nothing sadder than a 50 year old who thinks shes 21.
I so want to send her a note. Nothing fancy and bitchy like this post. Just a leave my mom alone about where I spend thanksgiving. I chose where and when i spend my time so don't bring it up.
Makes me think of you can't please them all... really my mother just shouldn't share when these statements are made. Tonight was the first time in the whole time i've knitted that she asked when my knit group was. She asks whats going on major life wise.. nothing but i knitted a pair of socks... ain't that neat. I've got my garden going... none of that stuff is talkable.. only negative drama so i'm quiet.
Now onto thanksgiving. I go to vermont where its a vacation and a family trip. Each year I want to get engaged or elope there. I have two cousins that i cuddle and hug and spend amazing time with. I've never had family that i cuddle with. I feel love there. I feel like a merit badge or a gold star on a progress chart with my fathers side of the family. If i go to PA for Thanksgiving that means i don't see my mom's side who i am closer to in april. I can only go home so much and use my vacation time for family trips.
Back to dad's side, I disagree with how they live their lives, how the inflict it on others and just general crap they pull on each other. I can stand it or deal with it and if i would return I'd probably go ape shit yelling at them. I'm a dominant upfront woman. They are sneak ballesss bastards. So excuse me. I'm not going to hurt their feelings by being a big ole biatch to their faces. I'm instead going to skip out on 3 hours of hell and spend 4 days of enjoyment in vt. In the end its better for everyone.
Damn Lunesta... kick in.. renewel shall be picked up tomorrow.


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