Get out of my boxspring

Okay Mildew, otherwise known as MilJew...I like ya, I really do but I'm pretty sure you just wiped kitty snot on me... why do you have kitty snot....because you hang out in my box spring which is full of allergins and stuff... I have a few tears on the bottom of my boxspring and they are kitty entrances.
I'm taking suggestions on what to do to the bottom of my boxspring...no, i won't be knitting a boxspring cover.... Right now it looks like options include, ducttaping the whole bottom, find fabric and cover the bottom and staple gun like you've never staplegunned, get a top sheet and make my bed on the bottom and then um....duct tape around the edges.... Continue to be snot upon while at the same time being kneaded to death by Little Miss Sunshine Kitty Jazz Hands....Everywhere I read online says its a good thing... Personally its making my tummy feel a little jello-y from all the prodding... and of course only prodding when I try to do stuff, not when I'm actually lounging about doing nothing.
Maybe I should rename this blog, Mindy and her crazy animal circus.