3 years

You are a fucking idiot. By you I mean me. Its been 3 years since your last break down and yet you sit here thinking about suicide and how you can't stand the thought of feeling like this your whole life. You think too hard and think about when your 70 and no one is there to comfort you. Then kick the bucket then. After you've had years and years of good but can only focus on the bad.
Mindy, what has happened in the last 3 years.
You've bought a house
You've adopted Riley
You've made new friends
You've gone up in ranks at work.
So you are going to have a few really bad days here. You've had them before and gotten through them and then you have had years of good so stop thinking about the pain and fear you are going through. The funny thing abotu the depressed is their fear of death and yet desire to overcome that in a snap. I was fine yesterday until i saw narnia and the death of aslan which brought me back to the death of coconut. I have two loving dogs here... why am I ignoring what the are giving me.
I took a xanex. I'm trying to get my breath back. I've gone to the potty like 4-5 times from not feeling well. I had a migrane the last two days when I didn't take my effexor but did take my prozac. I must keep taking the effexor longer. I screwed up from my own lack of organiziation and thought I hsould be done by now... no the prozac has to kick in better.
Shit I've been damn happy except my money fears lately. and then bam.... psycho mindy, paging dr psycho mindy.