Friday, September 22, 2006

And a happy Jewish New Year to you

So there is a funny Jew. She’s a Jew who has her own brand of Jewish religion. Isn’t each person’s celebration of religions their own person sect? I love the tradition but I still believe in equality it all things. Orthodox has shown me that men and women are equal in their view just the sexes master different things. The Conservative Reconstructionist Jew, that I am, believes we master the same things. The thing for me is that I don’t fear the different from me folks. Not that others fear it, its just easier to be among your own. So I’m a middle girl. There are reform folks more religious than I that perhaps I’d fit with in my acceptance of the secular world but I miss the Hebrew a traditionalist approach. Sometimes I just want to sing in another language and not discuss Rachel and Sarah and Bobafett…. Just making sure you were paying attention. During the Amidah I pray solo to G-d. I don’t read the empty Hebrew or English, I just talk straight up. I don’t think he really hears but its nice to think it… I don’t believe in the power of prayer. People pray and don’t get it answered all the time. Sure there might be a deeper thing going on but its too hard for me to figure out…guess I’m human.
I made a choice at one point. I chose that I would probably feel like an outsider to Judaism my whole life but that I’d still relish the tradition and celebrate individually. My friends aren’t Jewish, my boyfriend isn’t Jewish, most of my family aren’t Jewish. I don’t consider myself in a mixed religion relationship. He just isn’t Jewish by birth. We have a kosher house, celebrate the holidays and will raise our embryo from China Jewish. Who’s going to accept us as we are? No changing. No asking for him to devote himself to a life with solo G-d.
Isn’t that what the basis of Judaism is… belief in one G-d? That’s what I was taught along time ago…. Imagine if all the people who believe just in 1 G-d were considered Jewish….
I know, I’m tipping on offensive here… but there are lot of folks that are Christian by association but don’t believe in the big J man.
Anyway this is the time of the year when I want to belong to some Jewish community but then realize, I just don’t fit. I read Frum with Priv. for a while. I think he too was stuck in a middle place. When you try to level up it doesn’t always work, for some it does. Its easier to go back to what you are and just ignore the urges or just realize we are too lazy often to go to somewhere we don’t fit in, aka services. At least for me it is.
I think its alright, I don’t fit much in any community or group. Its my strength and downfall at the same time. Unless I lose faith again like last year I plan to make a sukkah this year. I’ll do it alone, I’ll enjoy it alone. I’d rather have a group and a family to do it with but its just not in the cards. Such is life…. Besides, does it all matter; I’m totally banking on a MadMax way of life in a few thousand years. We’ve downward spiraled into a I don’t give a crap about anything kind of world for years…. Sure there are people who do, don’t get me wrong, but there is an increase moral downfall overall. Or we just are redefining what good/bad morals are. What was once consider immoral we now, not only take it out of hiding, we take pride in it and have group shopping parties for it. There are good sides to this too. While I don’t feel the need or desire to celebrate the sexual revolutions of the present day I do think it’s good that at least sexual preferences partner wise can come forth.
It’s a tricky line, my thoughts and beliefs. Its also hard to describe without suddenly having words on here that will be googled by folks looking for gay stripper donkey porn, and mutual masturbating monkeys.


Blogger Roni JJ said...

Hey, you don't have to conform to other peoples expectations of to believe! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Organzied religion has gone overboard on their convictions of others because of what they do/don't do.

As far as morals, I so totally agree with you. The world has gotten far to lax in their acceptance of anything and everything...wouldn't want to be politically incorrect now would we??

9:51 AM  

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