Saturday, June 03, 2006

Man they are getting young...

I'm watching snl and I swear the people are getting younger and younger. Talked to mom today and duane. He's my boyfriend. We talk more than the real deal but hey if it works it works. I like to overanalyse stuff and he feeds that so here I am blogging and thinking. I've had a very small group of friends during my life. Usually just one at a time. We move from friend to friend wondering if this one is the one that will last. I wonder though if life is a series of friends and thinking we'll find that long term one. I don't particularly like that idea but I wonder if its just life. Maybe we are just not made to last much like many marriages these days.
We always feel like there won't be another one that was a good as the previous one but yet sometimes life surprises us. Sometimes circumstances end these and sometimes we change or lose patience with things we never minded prior. A few friendships were more circumstance related and I hate that it was what made us close at the time. In the last year I've had a some great frinedships where circumstances just made us further apart but I appreciate what we had.
I've discovered as I get older that there are some traits which are important to me. Self reflection and admitting we are wrong sometimes. I'm not saying I'm good at it but I'm glad to at least be able to spot it. Sometimes I'm hard on myself and don't spout my mouth off as if I'm queen of the world with all the answers. Life might have been easier when I was like that but I was kinda meaner than I am now so the change is good.
I'm a pretty mean person yet I can't take it myself. I've got lots of anger in me and think too much. Sometimes thinking mindy needs to shut it off and I think thats my biggest flaw. I just need to stop. I need to stop making lists, stop judging, stop emailing, stop talking, stop being upset at people who don't like me that I don't even like, stop trying to figure it all out. There is no answer for it all and we just can't all get along. Even the best people have people get annoyed with them. Even my perfect dog can get on my nerves.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Duane said...

THIS is why we get along and share that thing I like to call, insomnia. We both need to learn how to turn our brains off at night

4:01 AM  
Anonymous Duane said...

THIS is why we get along and share that thing I like to call, insomnia. We both need to learn how to turn our brains off at night

4:02 AM  
Anonymous Duane said...

I am like a born again retard. lol

4:03 AM  

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