Slap that baby make it free...

Ah E is home, its a great trip, today I gardened like heck, read, relaxed, attempted to nap, brushed the dogs hair, went to dinner, got violently ill, did stuff, and now blogging.
I have realised how much I have missed music from lack of car and ipod. Ipod's back, car is new but needs a check up. I've got music, I've got rhythm, who could ask for anything more. Oh wait that would be me.
I'm attempting to push the freelance with the current client cause they are moving slow. I'd rather work harder for them then go and get a part time job. My mortgage is officially 50% of my earnings after taxes minus 80 bucks and then there are the bills (14%), car payment (12%), the meds (7%), food/household needs like teepee-detergent-deodorant, petcare, paying off my bathroom repairs, insurance, dr visits, and life. Scratch the last one, i don't think i can afford that. Thats what library cards and long walks in the park are for. I didn't realize how much my mortgage would jump after the first year and I sure as hell didn't plan on the car.
I'm going to the dr this week to up my meds but I do wonder how much my bad mood is work and money related. I have never not made ends meet before. There is no math I can do that will make it all meet. Well I could give up food for lent but I'm jewish.